I was reading my list of blogs via Google Reader and found a post on Kevin Kelly’s Cool Tools blog about a product I have not seen before. Kind of odd, since the product, the Podee® Hands-Free Baby Bottle is a must for any redneck baby. The idea is to make feeding time a little easier for both mom and baby. A tube is attached to the nipple, which is then inserted to the bottle. Now, I’m not a mom but I have fed my fair share of wee ones in the past. I have never found it that difficult, then again I don’t do it all day every day. But I’m worried. Why? Because I’m afraid this precious little one:
Will end up like this guy:
And now we know how little rednecks grow up to be big rednecks.
How Little Rednecks Become Big Rednecks.
The Redneck Way To Make Money.
So, I was sitting here watching Judge Judy, contemplating how to pay for the almost $1000 gas bill my mom some how “forgot” to pay, when it hit me. I live in West Virginia, right? I have access to rednecks, right? Blow-up pools don’t cost that much, Wal Mart has them for about $125. Firewood and a barrel to burn it in-pfft, not a problem. Add them all up and what do you get? A Redneck Social. I can charge single rednecks, both male and female, to come party in my new hot tub. I’m thinking $10 a head, plus the cost of beer. I could easily make $200 in one night alone. I have one concern, though. I may have to have a pre-social pinto bean dinner in order to properly “bubble” the hot tub. Take a look at the setup and tell me what you think:
The concept could work, couldn’t it?
I Never Said ALL West Virginians Were Intelligent.
Taken from the Charleston Daily Mail:
Man with panties on face attempts to rob W.Va. store
© The Associated Press
INWOOD — A thief covered his face with a pair of women’s blue underwear and used a pistol-shaped cigarette lighter in a botched robbery of a convenience store, police said.
“I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried,” State Police Sgt. T.C. Kearns told The Journal in Martinsburg.
The cashier at first thought it was a joke and refused to give the man any money, so he ran to a Jeep Cherokee and drove away at about 4 a.m. Wednesday, Kearns said.
A few minutes later, police stopped a vehicle matching that description and took two men into custody.
Police later charged Steven Clay Stephenson, 34, of Ranson in the convenience story robbery.
Kearns said police found a pistol-shaped lighter while searching Stephenson. The underwear was recovered nearby.
Stephenson is charged with nighttime burglary, attempted robber, first-offense driving under the influence, petit larceny and improper registration.
He was being held Thursday at the Eastern Regional Jail. The Berkeley County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office had no record of a defense attorney being assigned yet to represent Stephenson.
Going Dumpster Diving.
Yes, I have been invited by a cousin of mine to accompany her and a friend to enjoy the redneck tradition of diving for tossed away goodies at the local strip mall. Needless to say, I’m excited because I have people who enjoy this past-time and will actually get in the dumpster, (something I really don’t think I can do-gag reflex and all), and dig for the prized items. We have planned which stores we are going to hit first: Office Max and Staples are top on the list- I want office supplies, bic pens, highlighters, desk organizers and if we hit the jackpot, a computer cart for my laptop. Bath and Body Works is next, from what my cousin has said they toss out unopened bottles of everything. Hello- can anyone say smelling good for free? I don’t see this as stealing, I mean the products are being tossed into dumpsters and will end up in a landfill. I consider this as my way of helping the environment. One bottle of hand lotion at a time. Would any of you do this? Admit it. You would.
