It’s On Again: The Six,(Or 600), Degrees Of Separation Between Myself And Diane Sawyer.

Beth March 27 2009 For The Tweeters, Life As I Know It, My Geeky Side 2 Comments

Six Degrees of Separation?

Oh, no, I don’t give up that easily. Ok, I’ve given up on the knight in shining armor, galloping through my front yard, coming to rescue me from the evil queen because he’s so madly in love with me, (I will, however, settle for a man driving a white, Chevy, pickup truck with a few rust spots and one of those cute window decals of the little boy peeing on the word Ford, yes I am a Chevy girl), but my goal of receiving the pep-talk phone call from one of my role models, Diane Sawyer, is alive and well.

It will happen.

For those of you who never read the original posts, they were in the 30+ that I lost in a database fiasco, I wanted, for my 36th birthday, since it didn’t happen on my 35th, a pep-talk phone call from Diane, telling me life after 40 does get better and how to make it in a male-dominated field. Yeah, see, it didn’t happen. I let it go for a while, but, after events in my life involving certain family members that shall remain nameless, the need to know I don’t have to be the perfect daughter, have the perfect career and not all of my mother’s problems have been caused by me, became greater. An outside voice- from a strong woman, who, unknowingly pushed my dream of becoming a journalist, which didn’t happen due to the aforementioned situations.

This is where I need your help. Will it be six degrees of separation, or 600? It doesn’t matter. One phone call, that’s all I ask. Am I nuts? Not a bit. Determined? You betcha. What are the situations I speak of? Secret Squirrel stuff between Diane and myself. For the person who is the last link, which gets me the phone call from Diane- he/she will receive one bottle of West Virginia wine-in the flavor of your choice. I’ve tasted the blackberry-not bad. That’s a hell of a price- a whopping $16.99.

Now, where’s the freakin’ redneck in the white Chevy. I’m in the mood to go muddin’.

I’d Like To Thank The Spammers From India and Russia.

Beth March 24 2009 Blogging, For The Tweeters 13 Comments

Without you, most of my visitors would be from the United States. In the last 2 weeks, however, I have observed a spike in hits from India and Russia. My blog is truly international. And the comments? Well, at least you’re polite and say, “Sorry, but…” before leaving 50 links to who knows what types of websites. Are you being paid per link, or, per comment? I think you all need a raise-in fact, tell your boss to contact me. It is too bad I have 2 spam measures in place, (one being Akismet), to prevent 99.9% of the comments from actually going through. You work so hard, typing your little fingers off for the sake of male enhancement products and where to buy prescription drugs online.

I’m also impressed by one person who has attempted to meet the required 3 comments before you’re “followed,” but, alas, I’ve had to send your remarks to the spam folder. Nice try-your IP and domains have been added to the ban list.

Oh-if you’re name happens to be Cash, How To Make Money, Drugs4U, or anything of the like and you do leave a relevant comment, I’m still sending it to the spam graveyard. Aliases are fine, but don’t overdo it.

Inappropriate Post Sunday: Trojan Her Pleasure Vibrating Touch.

Beth March 22 2009 For The Tweeters 10 Comments

Doggie Toothbrush?

Am I the only woman who is scared of even thinking of using the device to the left? Yeah, that’s right, I’m talking about the Trojan Her Pleasure Vibrating Touch, you know the commercial, the woman who looks older than my own mother tells two younger women she bought hers online?

***Shivers***

Here’s the deal. I shall not use any device that looks like a doggie toothbrush on my vajay-jay. I swear, I have seen the same type of uh, instrument at Pet Smart in the pet grooming section. I don’t think my vajay-jay needs a good scrubbing. And what really cracked me up- read the Frequently Asked Questions on the site. The battery only lasts 30 minutes and they provide the battery type and tell you to go to your local retailer. Is this like taking your watch to Walmart and having the jewelry people change the battery?

“Yes, my vajay-jay scrubber/vibrator needs a new battery. Size LR41 or equivalent (AG3, 192, 392). I’ll be over by the big power tools- just page me when you’re finished.”

Oh- if you’re a resident of: Alabama, Colorado, Georgia, Kansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas and Virginia, you’re out of luck. Apparently lawmakers in these states have banned the sale of vajay-jay scrubbers and other such devices. I don’t know why and quite frankly, I’d rather not know what would bring forth the subject in a legislative session.

And the price? For $20, the thing better freaking clean upholstery. The bonus? You do get a cute little baggie to carry it around in, you know, for those not so fresh, but I’m feeling horny so I have to stuff it in my purse, kind of days.

Read the site. No. Read it, especially how to clean the thing. Taken directly from the site and I quote:

“Remove the hard plastic massager from the soft sleeve. Note: the massager is not waterproof.”

Discuss this dilemma amongst yourselves.