How To Prevent Middle-Age Saggage And Sort Of Be Sexy With A Bare-Nipples Bra.
I came up with the word saggage while I was cropping the picture in Photoshop. I should trademark the word, since my brain forced my fingers to even type the word in a public space. At any rate, while browsing for bras on Ebay the other evening, I came across, the bare-nipple bra.
“What the fu**,” were the first words that came out of my mouth.
Don’t ever tell my mother, she’d kill me. The next thing I did was promptly copy and paste the link to a friend of mine whom I was chatting with on AOL Instant Messenger at the time. She used the exact phrase as I. Of course we giggled and discussed who would actually wear such a thing. Then, while still searching for a bra that would not only give this fat chick some support, but push me up a little so I could have cleavage, (I have no one to show cleavage to, I just want it, deal with it), I realized who would dare push her bare nipples up to her neck. Me.
As we all know, gals, we get older, our once perky breasts droop and sway their separate ways. The day you walk out of the house not wearing a bra and not having to worry if anyone will notice, is the day you need a bare nipples bra. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that I want people to see my perky nipples, ok that is the reason but let me get to the point, which is- no more middle age saggage. We’ll no longer have to compete with the 21 year old perkys. If it’s cold out- and we wear a bare-nipples bra- people will know we’re cold. I know I’ve always wanted my nipples to show through a white shirt on a cold winter’s day. Lest we forget- our men, or women, not that there’s anything wrong with it. Oh, sure, their first reactions will probably be,
“What the hell happened to the other half of your bra?”
But admit it guys, you’d love to see your woman wearing one of these. If the price wasn’t so high, the few I found were over $40 and I’m not paying $40 for half of a bra, I would buy one. Perhaps then, finally, I’d find a man. With my bare nipples leading the way.
Yeah, that’s pretty much the coolest bra ever. Guys could get away with never having to embarrassingly fiddle with the clasp.
Jason – GorillaSushi’s last blog post..Censored Count
LOL Leave it to you to come up with the clasp thing. They should have a training bra for boys when they turn say, 13- so they can learn how to unhook the things. It isn’t that difficult- think of women- we have to do it without looking!
OK fine, I will admit it. I would like it. There are you happy now?
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I think you should buy one and model it for us. I mean- I’m sure as hell not showing my breastesses online. I’ll pay you $1 to do it.
A dollar? Hmmmmm that is tempting.
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What the hell? From the title I assumed you would be modeling one.
This post has just been one big tease!
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Hey- you wouldn’t get naked and roll in Jello for me- I won’t model the bra
what the fu**???
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See- everyone has the same reaction. I really did say that out loud.
It’s not as awesome as it looks. The people who look best in it are the darned perky-boobed ones who DON’T NEED IT. Personally (and I wrote this in my “Nope, Not A Shopaholic blog post), I have too much loose skin, and just sort of slither over the tops of those half-bras, leaving a cascade of icky skin and nipple pointing at the floor. I figure my best bet is a world without gravity.
Lori- duct tape. The super models duct tape their boobs, who’s to say we can’t either? We either bind ourselves into some cleavage, or spend the rest of our lives bending over just to see boob cracks.
I don’t remember being asked to roll naked in Jell-o. I am not necessarily opposed to it.
Mr. Fabulous’s last blog post..Because you need to know what to expect?
I commented on the guest post you did on the Izea blog and suggested you do it to promote blogging. You said no lol
A “what the fu^^” from me too!
But the idea is great! I’m a guy and I must admit I’d rather see one of those instead of a classic one! Maybe these things will get popular in the future *keeps fingers crossed*
Though, they should have half the price of a regular bra
I think it’s funny that most of the comments are coming from men- and yes it should be half the price
Whays the boobs. You can only emagine of this. Who wants to touch them?
I am so glad I don’t have to worry about gravity!
Ohhh….well, I couldn’t do it for the Izea blog. I could maybe do it for yours…
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I suppose half a bra is better than no bra, but this is like wearing boxers instead of tighty whities for me – I don’t know about your “girls” but I like for my “boys” to have some support.
I suppose straight guys would love this thing on their girl… but just another reason for me to be glad I’m gay!
(Here via Entrecard)
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Your site never fails to make me smile! Great job!
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LMAO! The first thing I said when I saw the nipples showing was “what the f**k!”
Who buys half-a-cup bra’s? It would feel so uncomfortable on!
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Maybe if you save up enough Entrecard Credits you can afford to buy one.
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I’ve spent the last 30 years (or more) trying to keep my nipples from showing — now they’ve made bras to ENCOURAGE them to show! I’ll never understand fashion and I’ll always be either too far behind to catch up or so far ahead I might as well be in the next century.
M
Sheesh…I am old. I remember these being called “shelf bras”
Cause you kinda pick up your boobies and place them in the bra…lol
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this bra is very sexy, isn’t it?
I really did say that out loud