My Head Looks Like A Giant Sherbet Pushup.
Remember those orange sherbet pushups as a kid? You know the kind-on a hot summer’s day your mouth would be covered in orange, as well as your hands and any other part of you that got in the way. Yet you kept pushing the good stuff upwards, by the plastic stick on the bottom. Well, this is what my hair looks like at the moment. Orange and white swirls.
See, once in a while I’ll get a wild hair up my ass and decide to color my own hair. I have this idea in my head that since my mom is a, now retired, beautician, that I am one also-by association. I’ve always believed this fact. I’ve cut my hair, I’ve colored my hair. But it’s the coloring I’ve yet to master. I know how to mix the ingredients- hair coloring is chemistry and I’m quite good at the actual mixing step. The problems arise when I apply the mixture to my hair. It never turns out right.
Last night, or should I say 4 this morning, I’m standing in my bathroom reading the instructions on the bottles my mom had brought over the other day. My first clue should, (and always should be), “For Professional Use Only.” Just because you can stir the concoction in a plastic bowl -doesn’t make you a professional. I apply, and since my hair was so dark, I left it on for 45 minutes. This is the step I screw up every time. How long to leave it on. By the time I rinsed the crap out of my hair I had a nice orangish tint with blonde highlights. Wonderful color if I was a clown. I had nothing else to put on it, so I rummage through all of my purses and my emergency change cup to come up with enough money to go to Wal Mart and buy something-anything that would fix my pushup-colored head. I go in, wearing a hooded-sweatshirt, (with my head in the hood), pajama pants and slippers. Pouring the rain. I make a mad dash to the hair section, find dark blonde and think, “Ok this should do it.” Wrong. I now have, what I am deeming, “champagne, pushup head.”
Thankfully, although she was a bit pissed, my mom is stopping at the beauty supply store to pick up something to cover up my hair faux-pas. If it doesn’t work, I’ll move to Florida and go to clown school. I hear it’s a blast.
Sounds about like my mishap during christmas. I was trying to go back to my natural darker blonde color and the color turned it a reddish color and I wasn’t having any of that so a week later I got the lighter blonde color and it is now a strawberry blonde. I can now buy the correct color now that I found the clip to the one I had in the drawer and put it right. Freaking coloring is annoying as hell. If I hadn’t gotten gray in my later 20s none of this would be necessary.
I couldn’t believe how dark my hair was until a friend of mine took my pic that night she took the pics of my tats. I was so depressed yesterday because NO one from my family even sent an ecard much less an email saying happy birthday, I said screw it I’m doing something drastic. And boy is it drastic. I did it all over because of the white that’s coming in-can’t handle it- now I have even more white from my mistake. It does look like you could lick my head, though.
I think this warrants a picture. I want to see the wild hair and not the one up your…
By the way Happy Birthday! (belated) you old lady. LOL
Wayne at Ez DIY Electricity’s last blog post..Are You Getting The Most Out Of Entrecard? - Off Topic
lol no way. I didn’t get it “fixed” yesterday but my mom is getting the stuff this morning. Yeah- you might be calling me an old lady for real, or Marge Simpson, if my hair turns bluish from this mess
I have always coloured my own hair (yes, I’m a girl, despite the “mannish” name) and never had a problem. Cutting it now… ouch. I only had one success with that one and that was when I was desperately attempting to repair a bad cut from a “professional”. The growing out crapped it all up again, though.
Happy Belated Birthday. And just tell people your hair was supposed to turn out like that…
Les Becker’s last blog post..?Like a Woman Scorned.
lol Les thanks for the explanation of your name. My hair is really difficult to color because of all the red pigment hidden deep, deep in the follicles. It all depends and don’t laugh- on the texture of my hair at the time. I mean my mom is a licensed beautician and she HATES to color my hair-which is why she’s making me do it myself to fix it. Cutting your hair isn’t all that hard, but then again I’ve watched my mom my entire life too. Now, keep in mind I’ve never given myself a fancy nancy style, but as far as bangs, sides and layering the back- I can do it. lol my mom actually liked the color. I said I look like a Japanese anime character. And thank you for the belated happy birthday
Happy birthday!
I never get highlights - how did you do that??
Stine’s last blog post..A Back Update - And A Massage, Perhaps?
Thanks Stine! As for highlights- there are several ways to do it- using the bleaching agent, (which is peroxide/bleach and newer products that are out), and the “tint”-which is the color you want. You can use just the peroxide and a hair lightening mixture, but this depends on your hair color. You can chunk it, pull it through a plastic cap-sort of like knitting because of the needle you use, or just rub it all over your head like an idiot which is what I did. You can look it all up online.
Ooo! I know this one! My wife had the same problem (all the time) so she cornered a beauty-supply store employee and got the info on why her hair always tints orange when she bleaches/highlights it. I don’t know what exactly it is but the bleach she uses now is this BLUE goop and never ever tints orange. I think the blue cancels out the orange?
Jason - GorillaSushi’s last blog post..Win Another Hundred Bucks
Ding Ding- we have a winner. The “blue” works because your wife has a lot of red pigment in her hair like me. The blue is like a neutralizer for the red. So, yes in a way it does cancel it out. Now, if she wanted to go a different color, say caramel like I did-she would add a tint to that mixture-a caramel tint, or whatever color she wanted. I’m sending you 10 EC credits for being so smart.
lol. too funny. I am just as bad with hair coloring!
Simple Mindz’s last blog post..My PayPerPost paycheck!
sounds very punk rock… learn 3 chords… A,C,E… then some lyrics.. DOWN WITH ESTABLISHMENT…. next thing ya know thanks to MTV 13 year olds will worship you and you will be rich.
Well, I do admire that you are brave enough to try something “for professionals only”. I am a wus when it comes to my hair.
Champagne pushup, huh? Beware of ice-cream loving alcoholics trying to lick your new locks!
A-Bug’s last blog post..Alright, Mr. DeMille . . . I?m ready for my close-up
Oh, jeez, Beth - if you had seen me cut my hair…! I put it all (it’s horribly BIG and thick - I’m the reason the 80’s called… it wants its hair back - har har) ALL of it, up into about 30 little ponytails and cut them all off at what looked might be the same length. Surprisingly, it worked. Sort of. Ahem…*
Les’s last blog post..?Like a Woman Scorned.
It mays sound strange to you or maybe not but I never colored my her. Ever. I just left them growing at my head washing them from time to time and they look great. Not like in advertisments but still i enjoy them
Sounds like a naughty punk