10 Ways To Seek Revenge On A Male Boss, (If You’re Female).
I’ve had several days to get over the initial shock of, “being let go, not fired, don’t think of it that way, Beth,” (This is how my dismissal was explained), and I’m having a grand time thinking of ways to get back at the idiots who made my life miserable for a month. Yes, I realize revenge only makes one seem weak-but I believe this quote sums things up nicely:
“Revenge is a confession of pain”-Latin Proverb
Thinking of ways I could seek revenge has allowed me to move forward and to realize I’m not the person to feel sorry for in the situation-the idiots who rid themselves of a valuable employee because she couldn’t afford a last minute trip will soon realize the mistake. And I’ll be the one laughing. Plus, thinking of secret squirrel tactics has been quite amusing for myself, as you will see below.
10 Ways To Seek Revenge On A Male Boss
- Using his company email address, sign him up for every gay porn site possible. If he’s gay, sign him up for straight porn sites.
- You know the “male enhancement” commercials? Use the company credit card, (if you have one), and get him a year’s supply delivered to the office.
- Tell him you’re on your period and you need him to go buy tampons and pads with wings. And draw a picture so he’ll know what to get.
- Go to a dating website, fill out a profile with his information, and Photoshop a picture of him wearing chaps and a cowboy hat riding a stick pony-naked. His screen name should be Likes2RideOnTop and again, post it in the gay male section.
- Hire a pregnant lady to visit him while important people are at the office. Have her go in and tell him he’s the father of her baby and she wants child support.
- Make an anonymous call to the police, give his home address and tell them you’re just a concerned neighbor because there’s been a “funny, rotten smell,” coming from the house.
- Have a friend call pretending to be his wife’s/girlfriend’s doctor and ask if his “wee wee has been burning lately.”
- Call him at 2am asking if he knows where the Bears live. When he says no, say, “In the woods.” Then giggle uncontrollably.
- In a crowd of co-workers, tell him it’s ok about last night. Shrinkage happens to all men.
- Take away his Wii, Playstation, XBox or any other game platform-then watch him cry like a little baby.
Soooo, have you implemented any of your devious secret squirrel plans yet? I really like #1…it would be so very easy, and FREE.
Karen’s last blog post..Who Heifer is Named After
Omigoshness! These mad me giggle…though I’d never use them on my boss, he’s way to much of a sweetie, and he’s married to one of my best friends. I’ll definitely share these with my sisters though.
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I once was being threatened with a pay cut by my boss Kevin at a job where I served as network admin. I walked straight out the door after 4 years and didn’t look back. About 2 weeks later they finally needed to restart their server and realized that they didn’t know the password. They called me up around 2am. What was the password? “KevinSux”.
Priceless.
Jason – GorillaSushi’s last blog post..Elmo’s Doom Resoltion
I like #1 too. Also, you could take out a Craig’s List ad with his info. Make him sound nice and raunchy. The only drawback was that you can’t actually see his reaction. But you can always imagine.
pretty funny, i just found your site at random… maybe you can find me at random as well
the constant skeptic’s last blog post..Lingering Doubts About 9-11 – Watch Zeitgeist and Decide For Yourself
That’s what I can call: Sweet Revenge. I’m curious though if someone can come up with “10 Ways To Seek Revenge On A Tyrannical Female Boss, (If You’re A Male). I may be tempted to try them.
Ha ha ha….Tell him to go buy you pads. What is the matter with you. I hope none of my employees do any of those things to me.
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Or… give his contact information to all your gay male friends, including his work phone number.
“Hi. Can I speak with X please? Oh, he’s in a meeting? Can you tell him that Butch called? Tell him the rash will clear up in a couple of weeks if he keeps using the cream. He may be stuck with the anal warts, though.”
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Brilliant. Remind me to never cross you.
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Totally hilarious! Imagine if one would really do these. I would like to give him a mug though, “Women make better bosses”. Nice blog.
Lololol… good ones
Lololol… good ones
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Send a subscription for a specialty magazine–maybe something like doll making–to his office address. It’ll get people talking and will seem innocuous, so maybe no one will figure out why…
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11. Forgive those that hurt you, and get on with your life. Hatred demeans you, and corrupts your heart.
I don’t think revenge makes one seem weak. Especially if you do it in such a manner that it can’t be traced back to you…
I loved the Secret Squirrel reference.
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That is hilarious. I was fired a couple times in my life too and you want revenge so badly but the best revenge is when they call you back months later because they realize you were an asset to them. That’s when you tell them “Sorry, I can’t be bothered with such an unprofessional company”.
Curse the mother efer out in front off his staff and tell him what spineless whimp he is and that nobody respects him.