An Open Letter To The Two Co-Workers.
Dear Two Co-Workers Who Sit On Either Side Of Me,
To begin with, yes I am female. Females do exist, stop playing video games until 3am and you would probably figure this out. Co-worker number 1. You’re all of what? 23 at the most? Stop making a fool of yourself by pretending like you know everything. You don’t. Who figured out why the DNS wasn’t being auto-detected while setting up a VPN? That’s right, me. Stop using big technical words. I have a feeling you go home and look up every networking term known to man, spend the rest of the night writing crib notes and stuff them down your pants so you can read them during your many trips to the bathroom. Speaking of which, I know it’s you who pisses on the floor. For God’s sake boy, learn to aim. If you can’t hold your wee wee steady, how do we know you can hold cables, monitors and PCs? We don’t-which is scary. And stop mumbling. When I speak to you I expect to be able to hear what is being said, not a bunch of gibberish.
Co-worker number 2-stop farting and spraying the small can of Oust. Having a can of air freshener does not negate the fact you farted. Do as the rest of us do-pretend you didn’t do it and the blame is put on someone else. I do commend you, however, for answering questions, albeit you give half-ass answers, I’m smart enough to decode them. And turn your cell phone down. If I hear Jingle Bells one more time, I’m stabbing you with a pen.
Best Wishes,
The person between the two of you who has a coochie and not a penis.
I feel your pain. Before I got this amazing gig I have now working from home I used to have to deal with the same type of jag-offs who are clueless, but think they can babble out some technical sounding crap and people will respect them. Sadly, it usually works with managers and most coworkers.
A guy once said to me that there are two ways to make yourself look good, dazzle them with brilliance or baffle them with bullshit.
-Caveman
Caveman’s last blog post..Caveman’s Tribute To Twins
I wish I could find more reasons to use ‘coochie’ in my blog posts.
How2Blogger’s last blog post..How To Survive If Your Life Becomes A Movie
Caveman: I have to have interaction with people or I go mad. I was laid off for several months and was so happy when I finally found a “real job.” Too bad they have no sense of humor and I’m treated as an outcast. I’m just trying to dazzle them with smiling and eyelash fluttering at this point.
How2: Write a post on “How to decontaminate your girlfriend’s coochie.” That’ll give you an excuse to use the word. Write about washing, feminine products and well, going bald down there. I’d Stumble the post if you wrote it.
Argh! Coochies! Penises! I’m running amok. AMOK, I tell you!
Beth, you crack me up. Whatever happened to the cow?
Free Me’s last blog post..Stupid Things I Used To Believe
FreeMe: I’m making you run amok? I have that much power over people? I must learn how to control it
As for the cow- still working on her. I think I’ll have enough for mid-January. And shhhh.
Oh man, (Sorry, Oh lady).
There is nothing as good as waking up in the morning and head over here and read the latest from Beth
But sucks anyway, you found a job and then that s..t , you do deserve better
Hope you get it sorted out.
Got to ask ‘what cow’… I did I miss something..
Sam Nova’s last blog post..Jokes: Prison Vs Work
I’m still laughing!
Leigh’s last blog post..Harry Potter Puppets
Whenever I speak to people outside of work I’m amazed to find that there’s people in this world who can form whole sentences.
I work with the most backwards knuckleheads in the universe. One girl begins and ends 75% of all sentences with “so”.
Jason – GorillaSushi’s last blog post..Crotch Looker Caption Contest
A girl who can fix DNS? That’s HOT!
Rudy’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – December 19 2007
I would like to address a letter to several of my co-workers, especially the ones who don’t grasp the concept of the office voice. I work with several individuals who talk in “yelling over the music in a loud bar” voice at work. Of course each one is an attention whore.
Paul’s last blog post..Wine Club Membership 20% Off
Ahh, another female that knows what I go through!
I get the “little girl” treatment but that makes it even more funny when I make their programs 300% faster on something that already optimized.
I was already prepared for this treatment at college as I had to work twice as hard not having a “boys” upbringing of computers. Maybe they started out having more experience and took it for granted that they didn’t have to study. I slammed them time and time again on exams
Who did they come to for tutorials? Little ol’ me.
Once you get a woman in the tech field, you can bet they are serious.
mariam’s last blog post..Interest, dividends, capital gains – an all-in-one investment strategy, Part 4
I would write an open letter to my co-workers but they all subscribe to my blog. That might be seen as some passive aggressive attempt at correction or something. I am with How2Blogger. I too wish I had more occasions where I could use coochie in my writing.
I see Caveman is on here too. Is it wrong to love a guy that much? Just kidding, happily married here….To a woman.
Andy’s last blog post..I Am Giving Away An iPod Touch And More.
Andy only loves me for my body… not that there’s anything wrong with that.
-Caveman
Caveman’s last blog post..Big Contest, Bald Meme
Sam: The job really isn’t bad at all. It’s just a lot to know without much training. Mostly using Linux with their software, which isn’t the easiest software to learn. And A LOT of networking, which I haven’t kept up with much in the last several years. Oh, and the “cow” is secret
Leigh: lol good, I like to make people laugh
Jason: I live in West Virginia- work is the one place people can form complete sentences. Oh, I’m also guilty of using the word, “so”- I like it, therefore I use it, so.
Rudy: Yes, geek girls are hot. Many a man are just finding this out. However, I’m not really hot, I just pretend like I am.
Paul: LOL- When I worked at AT&T I was the loudest one in my unit. It wasn’t because I was an attention whore, but because I happened to get 80% of the old people who couldn’t hear a word I said.
mariam: Men don’t seem to get it. We don’t work twice as hard because we don’t know anything, we work twice as hard because we have to prove ourselves day in and day out!
Andy: My co-workers will NEVER know about my blog. Amazingly enough, I don’t think any of them blog-they’re too busy playing games because that’s all I hear them discuss. And you know you want the Caveman- admit it.
Caveman: Maybe he loves you for your “club.” Ever think of that?
I’m a HUGE proponent of “carrying a big stick.”
-Caveman
Caveman’s last blog post..Big Contest, Bald Meme
I’m over here farting rainbows….no Oust for me!
coochie’s last blog post..death, where is thy sting?
LOL coochie! Oh, how I’ve missed you. I fart plumes of pink smoke, myself. That’s why I can’t deny when I do it.
Hi Beth!
Congrats with the new job and I looove your new layout
Ok, I can see you are not keen of playing games, so I invite you to play a sophisticated game at http://www.linkylove.net/make-money-online-add-your-link-exchange-category/blog-of-the-weekend
Please join in as the creator of the game has lots of linky love for grabs
Linky Love’s last blog post..How Laure Manaudou nude pictures attract fresh visitors
Whats wrong with farting ? If you didn’t fart , you would probably explode or something.
So , I am guilty of that , too , so . I just don’t have a can of Oust on my desk. I go to the 99 cent store and buy a bunch of the Renuzit pop up air freshener things. They had some holiday cookie ones , they smelled good enough to eat , but I would not recommend eating them.
Sean Morris’s last blog post..Auto Select takes delivery of R35 GT-R
Ha ha! Even the anti-spam word on this comment says “Wind”!
Shantanu’s last blog post..Manipulative Restaurant Menus!
This open letter is hilarious, especially the part about stabbing #2 with a pen!
And your respond to How2 on a good post idea base on “coochie” had me in stitches.
betshopboy’s last blog post..Holiday Movie Treats
this cracks me up and make me very glad I no longer work!
bonnie’s last blog post..CVS, Walgreens, and Target 12/19
I am eternally grateful for not getting stuck with a coworker who farts frequently. We have separate toilets so I’ve no idea of his aiming prowess and have no wish to find out.
Lis’s last blog post..Lis Spills the Beans
This was on Diggspy, and lol, you sound like a really cool person. Coochie is a neat word.
How to pickup Beth:
Oh lady, I need some serious help with my DNS. Can I have your IP so we can hook up?
(Phone numbers are just SO 80’s)
Actually… You know a lot more network stuff than me, always gets on my nerve when it does not work but after 2 years of wireless use here I finally had a friend over to help me setup the security, was pretty easy when you know about it
About farts in the office.. that’s a good thing when you work from home, no one will complain…. oh, never mind.. ignore that..
LOL.. Just heard the ‘anti spam word’
P for pillow
o for OVERTIME
p for pillow
p for pillow
y for yogurt
Made me all tired
Sam Nova’s last blog post..Jokes: Prison Vs Work
LMAO. Tell us how you really feel. C’mon, don’t hold back!
Using a pen is more professional. The jackoff that moved into the office next to mine find that out shortly if I have to hear that piece of shit ring one more time too.
Office Supplies are pretty boring, but what about organization, productivity, office humor and annoying your coworkers? http://blog.officenmore.com
LOL me and some other coworkers will just make fun of the rest behind their backs. Then again, I wonder what they say about me? Funny how there are common themes about how we can all complain about our coworkers. Farting is a good one.
It’s amazing the amount we put up with in my office. There are just a few that are really annoying, yet no one says anything to them.