Top 10 Redneck Christmas Gifts.
Christmas is a little over a week away, so I thought I would provide a list of the Top 10 Redneck Christmas Gifts for those of you who are last minute shoppers. When most think of rednecks, beer comes to mind. Sure, you can buy a few cases and satisfy any redneck-but why be one of those people, when you can purchase high-tech redneck items? Some you can even make yourself by simply going to the dollar store, while others may require special order-but hurry, you want these items in time for Christmas morning.
- The Redneck Grill-Rednecks love a good cook-out, there’s nothing like a little raccoon or possum cooked over an open flame. Why not buy your favorite redneck a grill? Ok, maybe not buy, but I’m sure you can find the tools necessary to build the one below:
- The Redneck Lawn Mower-Some rednecks prefer goats when it comes to lawn maintenance, but this little beauty will brighten any Christmas morning:
- The Redneck Barbie-We can’t forget all the good little redneck kiddies. Most little boy rednecks will entertain themselves with duct tape and sticks, but redneck girls? Give her a role model she can look at each day and say, “Hey, I wanna be just like her when I grow up.” (The doll is also known as Britney Spears)
- The Redneck Senior Scooter-We can’t forget our senior rednecks. As they age, riding the mule back and forth to the mailbox, or, pushing a cart in WalMart can become strenuous- the scooter below is for Granny, Granpappy’s comes with a black seat:
- The Redneck Entertainment Center-For the high-tech rednecks, this entertainment center will bring hours of fun. Sunday Nascar races, phone calls from bill collectors and writing to their favorite prison pen-pals while sitting on a comfortable seat:
- The Redneck Computer-This computer is for those rednecks who are not yet skilled in using high-end technology. Comes installed with Redneck Winders, however the mouse is optional. I suggest looking in the outhouse or barn and make sure the balls are clean.
- The Redneck Hunting Dog-As they say, a dog is man’s best friend. The Redneck Hunting Dog can not only shoot a gun, but run back to the house and tell Mom and Dad that Timmy is stuck in a cave:
- The Redneck Car Lock-Forget the bar across the steering wheel, this lock will make car thieves think twice before stealing a redneck’s car-although I’m not sure who would want to steal one to begin with:
- The Redneck Gift Basket-Since I mentioned beer, you can buy a gift basket full of a redneck’s favorite beer-which is usually Budweiser. Don’t buy some high-society foreign beer- you’ll only confuse them-bottles, or cans doesn’t matter either-they entertain themselves with both:
- Redneck Airbags-This gift is a two for one kind of deal. First, you have to find a redneck chick that looks like, well her. Then you have to force her to drive the redneck man around. What he does with her after he gets home is up to him-this gift is quite expensive due to this fact-monthly payments are involved as well as a case of beer and the gift basket listed above.
There you have it-the Top 10 Redneck Christmas Gifts for 2007. Never forget, rednecks are people too. Do not purchase sheep-just a friendly reminder.
Redneck ingenuity at it’s best. Simply amazing. I think you could make a whole site around redneck’s and their toilets.
How2Blogger’s last blog post..How To Overcome Blogger’s Block
Please pardon my superfluous apostrophes.
My grandpa was from West Virginia – did I mention that? I don’t want to use it as an excuse, but that my explain these lapses in apostrophe usage or perhaps why I get most of my reading done on the toilet.
How2Blogger’s last blog post..How To Overcome Blogger’s Block
Replace the third ‘my’ with ‘might’ please. I’m having trouble commenting today.
How2Blogger’s last blog post..How To Overcome Blogger’s Block
Face it dude. You’re in lust with me and can’t stay away from my blog. It’s the red lingerie and the faint odor of possum, isn’t it?
No, actually I think it’s the faint odor of the lingerie and the red possum.
How2Blogger’s last blog post..How To Overcome Blogger’s Block
Is it just me, or does that Barbie have a black eye!? That’s a cute hunting dog btw =D
david’s last blog post..Keeping the Enemies Guessing
Hahaha thanks for the great list. The lawn mower cracks me up. Looks so modern. I think redneck is an amazing concept.
uh … should I feel guilty for finding this amusing?
How2: I have so many places to go with your last comment, but I’ll save it for our “private moments.”
David: lol yeah she has a black eye-beer under the cart and cigarettes in her purse. Sad thing is- I’ve seen women like this. And I love the dog! When I found the picture I cracked up!
Andy: Redneck is a lifestyle, not a concept. Trust me- I’m one, although I’m considered a high society redneck- mostly due to the fact I haven’t dated any relatives.
Detox: Nope. Redneck watching is a hobby of mine. Go to WalMart any day of the week at 2am-rednecks and inbreds are out then. Oh, ad you’re welcome for the free linkback to your site-just for commenting here.
Haha.. that is so funny! Love the airbags…
Sandra’s last blog post..I’d like a new keyboard please…
How come rednecks need so many toilets?
Love the last pic, that woman looks like she has a hard time getting in and out of that car. Maybe there is an eject button.
Melinda’s last blog post..So many sock uses!
#5 is in my wish-list for Santa!!
In fact, this comment entry is from such a place.
Rudy’s last blog post..Lunch Bits – Edition 4
lol @ that toilet grill and that computer nerd’s toilet chair. i would soooo love to have gotten either of those for my brother in law… it would suit him so well -_-
Actually that redneck grill could be a green grill too.. but please tell me those are just briquettes
Rnbdirt’s last blog post..Mary J. Blige On Staying In Shape And ‘Growing Pains’
holiday giving? investigate before you donate.. before funding ANY charity. please visit. siav.org mrmcmed.org (learn how charities misspend research dollars) and pcrm.org, read what the march of dimes spends (30 million a year) your money on.
This hits so close to home….so close.
Great blog!
Bloggrrl’s last blog post..What Would Seth Godin Do? An Excellent WordPress Plugin
Q: How do you confuse a redneck?
A: Put three shovels against a wall and tell them to take their pick.
Great Blog, very funny stuff. I’m sure you got a lot of calls from Rednecks wanting to know where to buy the gifts pictured.
Marvin’s last blog post..Santa’s Marketing Magic
Darn! I wonder if those airbags (#10) would do more good than harm, Lols! Hilarious!
my pa already has a number 9