Ahh, Thanksgiving. The time when loved ones get together, eat, drink, chat and share germs. Yes, that’s right, I’ve been stricken with an ugly head/chest cold, due to spending time at my mother’s man-friend’s house. He had a cold and my body was the chosen one for the germs to invade. I should consider myself lucky, past Thanksgivings I’ve caught stomach bugs. Anyway, here is my list of 10 ways to make it through a cold:

1. Nyquil-sure, I could do shots of Jack Daniels every 6 hours, but I much prefer the syrupy, gag-inducing pleasure of the stuff.
2. Vick’s Vapor Rub- I swear by this stuff, so does my cousin. Little did we know, our grandmother did as well. This little concoction of petroleum jelly and turpentine oil will cure anything. Big toe hurts? Stick it in a vat of Vick’s-it’ll heal right up. Make sure you rub every inch of your body with it too, if you’re married or living with someone-this is one way of getting some alone time.
3. Breathe Right Nose Strips-You already smell of liquor and turpentine, your hair is greasy and tangled, so what if you have a large band-aid across your nose. All you need is the black crap to smear under your eyes and you’re ready to play for any sports team in existence.
4. Humidifier-Mine isn’t working so I’ve had to stick my head in the shower, which makes me look even more attractive in addition to all of the above.
5. Hall’s Cough Drops-Buy the good old-fashioned kind. Stay away from the cough drops with the gooey substance that comes out after 30 seconds of sucking on it.
6. Tea-preferably mint. Tea is another cure-all for me. Add a little honey and I’m in heaven.
7. Saline nose drops-ok you’re looped on Nyquil, smeared in Vick’s with a band-aid slapped across your nose. What better way to entertain those around you than snorting salt water up your nose and allowing it, along with anything else present, drip out? Another sure way to clear a room.
8. Sierra Mist, Ginger Ale or Sprite-these are my preferences, I’m not fond of 7-up. Buy several 2-liter bottles since it’s less expensive and you’ll be drinking them straight from the bottle anyway, might as well make it a challenge.
9. Tissues-the type with lotion is the best, but if you’re desperate as I am at the moment, a good roll of toilet paper beside you on the table will suffice. Do not-I repeat-do not use paper towels. You’ll regret it in a day.
10. Plenty of napping. I have slept almost all day and I could go for a few more rounds. Luckily I’m single, (or unlucky, however you want to look at it), so I’m not running my partner out of the bedroom.

There you have it-my survival guide to the common cold. Oh, and for those of you who have friends, or family who say, “It’s just a cold-breathe on them and laugh when they’re as miserable as you. Makes for good entertainment. Anyone else have remedies they’d like to share?