A Fat Chick And The Free $50 Subway Gift Card.
Two things in life you never use to tempt a fat chick: a man who was just released from prison after 20 years and free food. Being of size myself, I assumed everyone was aware of the two most important rules when dealing with those of us who are horizontally challenged. Apparently, I was wrong. I happened to win a $50 gift card to Subway, thanks to the folks at PayPerPost for my post about Subway sandwiches, and their Fresh Fit advertisements. I also won an iPod Touch, but part of me believes I was more excited about the gift card- I mean we’re talking $50 in free food. What fat person is going to pass up this offer?
I received my items in the mail Saturday. Monday afternoon, card in hand and an order from my mom for a Veggie Sub, I headed to my local Subway. I wait in line behind 2 other fat people ordering foot-longs. In fact, I wait 10 minutes. Finally, it’s my turn. My chance for free food at last. I suddenly feel thin because it’s Subway we’re talking about-not McDonald’s or Burger King. I order my mom’s sub first, all the veggies and honey mustard, 6 inch on the Italian Herb and Cheese Bread. Now to my sub. Since it was going to be free, I decided for the exotic sub and ordered the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki, with cheese, banana peppers and red onions. I ask for 3 chocolate chip cookies, (per my mom’s request, we were splitting the 3rd cookie in half), and 2 bags of chips. Yes, I chose Baked Lays for myself. I mosey up to the register, feeling all giddy about the gift card when it happens. Their Gift Card machine is down.
Let me say this once. You do not do this to any fat person who is getting free food, or said fat person can become very angry. I told the goober at the register, “Thanks for not having a sign up saying you could not accept gift cards, paid the almost $10 for the food and walked out.
What to do, what to do. My mind running in circles. The next closest Subway is 10 miles away. I drop my mom’s sub off to her and head home. I thought, “Ok, Beth, you can handle this, 10 extra miles for free food is nothing. So yesterday, still determined to get my free food, I headed 10 miles down the road when I remembered-wait, Wal Mart has a Subway which replaced their slop snack court. I was too far away to turn around but decided this: I shall park my fat ass in the Stork Parking at Wal Mart, skip in and order my free food right beside all the other fat rednecks, with a sly grin on my face because mine is free-theirs isn’t. Flat Broke, fat women around the world, rejoice. I have overcome one obstacle.
I must be some kind of freak because I am a fat chick but I wouldn’t eat Subway if someone paid me to. I don’t know why but I’ve always hated their subs. Maybe I’m just spoiled but I want my subs from real delis or Italian eateries or none at all.
This post underscores an issue that should be brought to the political forefront; one that should be discussed thoroughly at the next presidential debate: The surliness of Subway employees.
From what I can see, this is a nationwide problem. Until recently, I lived in New York, where one generally expects surliness, so it was no surprise that I found it at Subway. But just the other day I was at a Subway in Mountain View, CA — in the Bay Area, where everybody is supposed to be all touchy-feely and whatnot — and the guy behind the counter was absolutely furious at me for interrupting his call to his girlfriend! What nerve I have, eh? And now this problem you have . . .
I’m writing a letter to the President, asking him to declare a Subway embargo.
You rock baby! So far all I’ve gotten from PPP is about sixty bucks and some trainee who took about 5 tries to approve a perfectly good post. I think they used me to train him on because I’m so mean. Eat a sub for me!
Ooooooooooh… Lucky you!! $50 to spend on Subway! The Chicken Terriyaki is my favorite subway. Dang you woman! Now all I can think of is Subway!!! Guess where I am going this afternoon?
AntiBarbie: I love Subway. Especially the pizza subs. I live in West Virginia- we don’t have “real delis or Italian eateries” lol
Karen: I’ve been there too- keep on chugging, you’ll make it.
Secretely: Went there this evening- got the pizza sub and I’m about to chow down.
You’re like….Norma Rae!
Fabeo: I am working for fat people around the world- We need to UNITE- but not in one spot or we might crush something…
I like Subway. There’s one right on the 1st floor of my apartment complex when I was i college. And I only order Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki. With lettuce, tomato, cucumber, green pepper and onion (in order). I think I got too used to it.
Pujut: I don’t like shredded lettuce from any restaurant, hate tomatoes, cucumbers give me heartburn lol. I usually stick to the peppers, onions and cheese on any sandwich. Love Subway.
That is one of the funniest stories I have heard in a long time. LOL! Free food rocks!
LOL Tina- if you had only seen how furious I was- I mean the most free food I’ve ever had is from a peel off from a McD’s cup and won small french fries lol
Your post had me rolling! Too funny, and that is awesome about the gift card, I didn’t even know you could win gift cards through PPP … congratulations and I am glad you are getting your sandwiches … LOL
wow, free food!
food tastes a lot better if it’s free
Hot dogs a re better!!