Although I do write what most would consider personal posts, I have refrained from discussing my life when it comes to emotions and day to day struggles of just being a human. I read many blogs a day and for the most part, I have lost sight of the fact that once I take away the words, the blogging software and the money-making expectations, real people exist. I think most in the blogging world have long since forgotten this aspect as well. Not only bloggers, but the services bloggers are now relying on in order to gain readers or the upper-hand, as I like to call it.
I received an email late last night from a service I’ll not name at this time. In this email, I was told my blog did not meet their standards of quality. Let it be said, the so-called standards of quality would actually disqualify 99.9% of the blogs I have become familiar with over the last two years. It isn’t the fact of not being accepted: It’s the fact I am allowing someone who doesn’t know me on a level beyond a few words dictate how I portray myself on a blog. Everything I write comes from my own mind, my own ideas, my own experiences. I don’t take what others have written about a particular subject and spin it to make it my own, -unlike some bloggers who have become masters of the practice. I do write unique content- just because I may write a sponsored post doesn’t mean it isn’t unique- I wrote it, no one else did, therefore it’s unique.
The reason I am posting this is due to several reasons. For one, I have been and always will be an extremely competitive person. I don’t judge myself against the works of others- I judge myself based on what I feel is a high standard. In other words, I get mad at myself if something I do isn’t perfect the first time. From grades to work to personal relationships I have to be perfect and when I’m not, the anxiety is so great it can be overwhelming. This is one of the reasons I stopped blogging for a month and a half-my personal life has taken a beating over the last few years and I felt, if I can’t get things right in the real world, how can I possibly get things right in the blogging community? When my own mother says, “When are you ever going to catch a break,” you know something is seriously wrong with your life. Sure, I could have continued blogging, (for the record I’m still trying to catch that break), and whined and moaned about the perils of my life, but why do so when in reality- no one cares in the grand scheme of things?
When I read the email this morning I felt as if, well, nothing has changed and nothing will change until I figure out what I am doing wrong. It seems no matter which way I turn, how well I try to perform at whatever task is handed to me, I fail. It’s this failure that has pushed me into a deep depression accompanied by horrible anxiety attacks. How many of you can stand up and admit your failures to a potential community of millions of people? It isn’t easy. All I can say is- I am who I am. I am more than the words on this page, I have feelings and I do take things personal when someone judges me based on a blog that chronicles a portion of my life.
Food For Thought
Professionals who have 646-171 or similar 642-825 on their credit, have a tendency to go for more advanced certifications like 642-372 as well as 640-802. Basic courses like 1z0-042 or even the advanced 220-602 seldom capture their interest. The reason might be the fact that they are already done with a similar course, i.e. 350-030.
There are many reasons why I’m proud to say I’m a West Virginian and Bridge Day is one. For those of you not familiar with the bridge itself, it is the longest steel arch bridge in the Western Hemisphere, (at one time held the record for the longest), spans 876 feet above the New River Gorge, making it the second highest bridge in the US and the only time foot traffic, much less BASE jumping is allowed, is the third Saturday in October. The only year Bridge Day was canceled- 2001 due to September 11.
