Bodily Functions As You Age: A True Story.
I’m 34 years old. I don’t feel my age in the least- in fact I still have the mindset of a 20 year old, although I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. Having the mind of a young person is one thing- the body lets you down when you least expect it.
For the women out there, picture this: You’re sitting in traffic, singing to an 80s song on the radio and you sneeze. And you feel it. That little trickle- not coming from your nose, but from, well, the one thing that makes you a woman. You ask yourself, “Did I have to pee? No, no I didn’t.” You sneeze again. “What the hell?” By this point you’re just hoping to get through traffic and make it home before you’re floating in a puddle. Forget the stop at the convenience store for gas- you have a bigger problem on your hands. Once you’re home it hits you- holy hell I’m getting old. This is the kind of crap my mom complained about when I was 10. You deal with it, wear panty liners and go on about your business. That is, until you sneeze and fart at the same time- like I did this morning at work. You do that little “let me cough really loud again” cover-up, hoping the person in the cubicle next to you falls for it-knowing very well he won’t. I think I’ll take a break now and pray no one stares at me.
Wow! I’m 37, and I know exactly what you mean!
Scary, isn’t it?
If I’m out in public, I sneeze very carefully now…
Incontinence? I have no idea what you’re talking about! And, NO, that is NOT why I cross my legs before I sneeze…
Add me to that “cross your legs if you sneeze in public list”. I’m 30, and I’ve had three kids. They ruined me!
Guys, I’m 23 and it happens to me too sometimes!
One word for all of us- buy stock in panty liners. I cannot believe I actually farted at work when I coughed! I mean sure, when I’m home it’s no big deal, but it came out of no where!
Janna: I just squeeze my cootch really tight. Helps some.
E-Babe: I’m telling you, squeezing your legs can end in an almost accident. Trust me on this.
Colleen: I haven’t even had kids- so I can’t imagine. It’s awful to think you’d have to diaper a baby- then yourself!
Malin: Welcome to the club. Although a little early, we’re here for support.