Crotch Rockets And Bottle Blondes.
Yes, it’s Summer. Besides looking at the date on the calendar, how do I know Summer has arrived? Warm breezes, sudden thunderstorms, the smell of freshly cut grass and bottle-created blonde, teen girls driving the car mommy and daddy are paying for while singing rap songs referring to bitches in the back and hos in the front. I witnessed such action late yesterday afternoon. I’m minding my own business, waiting at a red light, when I hear the “thump thump” of a car stereo. Three white girls attempting to rap. Note the word attempting. As we proceed to the next light, a very tan dude on a crotch rocket zooms between the two lanes of traffic, stopping right beside the wannabe white girl rappers. I see him turn his head, saying something to the spoiled, little rich girls. He must have said something very deep and meaningful because the chick in the back seat leaned out of the driver’s side window and yelled,
“Nice rocket!”
To which the driver of the motorcycle revved his engine in approval, motioned for them to follow him leaving me thinking-I’ve been approaching this whole how to attract men thing all wrong. All I need is a bottle of peroxide, a sporty Mazda that I don’t pay for and the guts to rap loud in traffic about bitches and hos. For some reason I don’t see this working for an overweight, 34 year old woman, driving a 10 year old Chevy Cavalier. Then again, I can dream.
I live in your world! The other day I was at Barnes & Noble to do an interview. While waiting for the woman to arrive, I came across a book by one of the famous blondes–Carmen Electra, I think–on how to be sexy. Basically, you put on wet-looking lipstick, hang it all out there, and give every indication you’ll put out at the first opportunity. Thank you Paris and Company for making it so easy for women to be easy! Please stay in jail/rehab/your castle….
But happy BYB Sunday to you!
Happy BYB Sunday! I loved reading About You…..seems you and I have a few things in common. I, too, was born with a club foot. Did the cast thing as well, but at one point when the cast was being removed to allow for growth, the nurse cut the entire length of my leg with the cast cutter. Yes, 54 years ago cast cutters did cut! The nurse failed to mention this to the doctor or my parents so therefore I have a scar the entire length of my left leg. It has faded somewhat but does not tan and I get told often that I have a run in my pantyhose! LOLOL My father died at 52 of a heart attack, I was 28…….saddest year of my life.
But………if you ever pull up alongside a middle aged woman who is listening to blaring heavy metal music, it is because I can’t hear anymore and I HAVE to have it up that loud! LOLOL Have a great week and keep up this great blog!
Hey hey now go easy on sport bike riders! We can’t help it if the bikes gets us more attention.
You say that you are going about it all wrong. That just depends on what you are looking for. Looking for a one night stand, then yes you can do what you said. If you are looking for someone to actually be with you night and day, you had better change your plan.