Please go visit Be The Butterfly this week. I chose her because she has/is accomplishing a goal I hope to begin next year. Of course, you have to go visit her blog in order to find out what the goal is-but she has every reason to be extremely proud of herself. Leave her comments of support and congratulate her!

In other news, I sold a few items of my mom’s. Yes, she said I could-my cousin and her most likely to be sister-in-law stopped by and picked out a few things. I made $35-$10 will go for gas and the rest for a little food. I haven’t been hungry for the past several days- which I suppose is a good thing, but considering I’ve gained weight-all fluid, this bothers me a little. I keep telling myself everything is going to be ok-that it’s just hormonal. I’ve cut all soda out-I have drank tea-thankfully it has no sodium- the caffeine is still there-which isn’t good, but not as bad as drinking pop. I’ve also been drinking water-not nearly as much as I should, I’m working on my hatred of the stuff. I’m not sure how the Lasix is supposed to work. From what everyone had told me I would be peeing non-stop-I’ve noticed I go more often, but not like I expected. Maybe it takes a few days to get into my system? I mean, I’ve only had 2 total. Who knows. Anyway, I’m going back to finish cleaning the couch and chairs with my cousin’s Little Green Machine.

I read the introduction post on the blog I’m renting space from this week. He said, “he takes what he can get.” Thanks for the warm welcome. I’ve been described as snarky as well. I’m really a nice person, but it’s the stress I’m under that may make me look as if I’m a total bitch-I’m not. In fact, I detest people who try to determine who a person is by their typing. I’m sarcastic-yes. I enjoy sarcasm. It gets me through the day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go piss for the 20th time.

If you’ve read any comments on this blog in the last several weeks, you would know that the Mr. Bus Guy-you know, the one trying to save a bus to make his dream come true, has had issues to a few things I said about what people are willing to donate to online. I surfed to his site the other day, where I saw a post about him talking about how people considered his site a commercial site-due to the ads, the asking for donations via pixels etc. I left a comment-stating that I did see his site as a commercial site-but that I did wish him luck in reaching his dream-and the fact that we all had dreams. I receive a response from him via e-mail. He seems to have the need to legitimize his “goal” over and over again. I have been straight-forward in the reasons why I am trying anything I can to earn a little cash from my blog. I’m not trying to live a dream, I’m not trying to scam people-I’m trying to keep myself sane until I receive a paycheck from the job I start in less than 2 weeks. I’m not giving anyone a pity story-just the truth. Keep in mind also-even when he left comments-I did not delete them. However, since I don’t happen to agree with his site or how he is going about asking for money- he deletes mine. Below is an experpt from the extremely long email I received from him. Most of it was about how he’s working they aren’t making it, how he went from making an x amount of money to basically nothing-yeah tell me about it.

So, there you go… My dream really IS on hold… but it’s not. I’m using my dream to catapult myself back into “normality” (if you will) and give us a target… something to fix on to avoid considering what is not a great existence… but like I said, improving.

I’m sorry I don’t give out ALL this information online, but I am trying to keep myself and everyone I know upbeat… and, again, we’re not kidding about the bus and our goal of achieving this through the online things…

…but the “real” goal is to do something like have a decent dinner, go a day without worrying about being evicted, and actually pay off my bills.

I’d love to support your site and your goals… but I’m going to delete your comment from the blog.

The reason is that either by design or by mistake, you make us and our dream sound like ca-ca because… well… it sounds like we’re eating fillet mignon trying to “huck” for a stupid bus while the world is starving.

No…

We’re starving… on the verge of being homeless… and the dream MIGHT solve two problems at once.

So, in all honesty, if you want to promote your site and maybe help each other, I’d be happy to work WITH you… but I cannot and will not work against you.

Sorry for the deletion… but again, we’re legit in our dreams… and legit in our goal to not only get the bus which would make smiles happen, but the “spin off” from the pixel site and whatnot might also put food in our bellies and stop the threatening phone calls and letters.

I hope now you understand what’s going on… and why I do see issues with your posts…

Warm Regards,

Matthew

So, you see folks-it isn’t only a bus he’s saving. It’s his own ass yet he isn’t being upfront about his true goals. Want to discuss feeding yourself and getting calls from utility companies? I have 3 cans of soup, a box of rice and crackers. I have pawned all of my dvds and DVD player. I had no jewerly to pawn. If I did-trust me it would be gone. My uncle paid part of my gas bill which is holding them off for another few weeks. I’m having medical problems which can’t be diagnosed or taken care of properly until my insurance kicks in. I’m a single female with no kids therefore I don’t qualify for any kind of help. NO HELP. I go no where because I can’t afford the gas, my car has 117,000+ miles on it and who knows how long it will last. When I DO start my job-I have no idea how I am going to pay the $4+ a day for parking, not to mention the gas to and from. I’m not asking for a dinner at a nice restaurant. Nor a bus. What exactly, Mr. Bus Man, are you going to do with this bus once you “save” it? Since you’re so broke and you did mention the extra money would be used to pay off your bills-are you going to turn around and sell the bus-raking in even more cash? Are you giving tours in it? Is it going to sit in your driveway? In my comment I wished you well-which now everyone will be unable to see since you found it necessary to delete it since I didn’t agree with you or your project. I wasn’t asking you to promote my site either. I simply entered my URL as most comment forms have a space for it. Personally, I don’t give a crap anymore. I’m only trying to save myself. Not an object. For those of you who are supporting him-think about what/who you’re giving your money to and the motives behind it. Comments are off for this post. I know there will be a lot of hate involved and I’m not going to sit here and defend myself against a guy wanting a double-decker bus.