A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica.
Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. “What a peaceful & loving couple.”
The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
“Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America,” explained the man.
“We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, “That’s once.”
“We proceeded a little further and horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, “That’s twice.”
“We hadn’t gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time.
My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I shouted at her, “What’s wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that” Are you crazy??”
She looked at ME, and quietly said, “That’s once.”
“And from that moment…..we have lived happily every after.”
Susie wrote:
Like you, my peeves could keep me as busy as a full-time job.
I would have to say that one of my biggest peeves is when cashiers “slam” my
change into my hand.
WTF is that? Since when did handing someone their change become a full-contact
sport?! AUUUGH!!!
Speaking of change, another pet peeve is when the cashier gives me my change
(usu. in the slam fashion) and does not count it back from the original amount
I paid back. When did math become verboten?! If I give you a ten, and the
change is $4.34, you should, by proper training, give me the change counting,
“34 is seven, eight, nine, and ten.” But no. This hasn’t happened in years.
Unless it’s a career cashier, and s/he is over fifty. *sigh*
A final pet peeve regarding money and paying. If my total comes to $5.61, and I
give the cashier the 11 cents, I love watching their eyes roll back and their
heads spinning a la Regan in the Exorcist. It’s like my grade six math teacher
said, “Math *is* fun!” bwahahaha
My Freshman year of college- I was a cashier. Thankfully, I know how to count and was never confused if someone gave me the penny if the total was oh let’s say $5.41. However, I had cashiers ask me in front of the customers, “How much change do I give them back?” To begin with, idiot, enter the amount given you into the register and it will tell you. Secondly, how difficult is it to do the math in your head? If the person gives you $10.01 and the total was $5.41- good grief count. It’s a freaking penny difference. I will take up for cashiers, though. Work 8 hours a day with customers who haven’t seen soap and water for what looks like decades-and then take the money from their grimey hands. Not to mention the pay for being a cashier is horrible-considering one deals with the public non-stop. I have noticed the more advanced technology becomes, the more rude the cashier. Just slap ‘em back next time they slam the change in your hand. Or, better yet-roll up a piece of gray chewing gum to make it look like a booger and stick it on the end of your finger. At least you’ll get a giggle from it.
One woman.
Unhappy.
Indecisive.
A mother’s daughter.
Alone.
In Pain both Physically and Emotionally.
Tired.
Not confident.
Afraid.
You don’t know me. You only assume. I’m the outsider looking in as you live your life and I exist in mine. I am in no one’s shadow but my own. Sleep is a welcomed escape but even the bad follows me into the darkness. When I look in the mirror I see the world. You only see yourself. Does anyone really get it? Get me? Understand or even attempt to understand? The answer: no. I’m not given a chance. I’m overlooked. I’m tired of being the bruised apple in the bin of polished, unblemished, perfections.
